Spoiler LC!: Auf vielfachen Wunsch

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Abgeschickt von Martine am 07 Mai, 2002 um 23:07:37:

von karin:

nochmals Book in A Minute für die Lymond Cronicles:

IN voller Länge und ungekürzt! Spoiler auf eigene Verantwortung!

Game of Kings in a minute;
Francis Crawford: Everyone thinks I'm evil, but I'm good.
Everyone else (except P.): Alright, you're good. You've convinced us.
Philippa: Not me.
The End.

Queens' Play in a minute:
FC: I have Plan to save the young queen's life. I will disguise myself--dye my hair black, get fat, speak Gaelic, drink, sing, carouse allday and night, and debauch myself with lads from the court. No onewill recognize me. (nearly dies from poisoning and burns.)
FC: OK, I have another Plan. I will disguise myself, as myself and be blond and thin, clean and sober, speak English, and pretend I'm the Queen's Herald. No one will recognize me.
Oonagh: I will make any sacrifice is for Ireland and King Cormac. I will even allow FC make passionate love to me and experience one night of transcendent ecstacy, but I will never ever reveal the villain's name.
FC: OK, here's Plan C. Everyone will recognize me and I will languishin prison and make Oonagh feel really guilty until she cracks.
The Little Queen is saved.
The English Stewarts are humiliated.
Oonagh starts feeling queasy in the mornings.
The End

Disorderly Knights in a minute:
Francis Crawford: Everyone thinks I'm evil, but I'm good.
Gabriel: Everyone thinks I'm good, but I'm evil.
Joleta: Everyone thinks I'm a virgin, but I'm pregnant. (she dies)
(FC tries to kill Gabriel)
Gabriel: Silly me. Did I forget to mention that you have a bastard child and only I know where he is?
Philippa: Mr. Crawford, stop. (Gabriel escapes)
Lymond thinks: (hmmm, Philippa is growing up)
Philippa thinks:(hmmm, I think I was wrong about Mr. Crawford.)
The End.

Pawn in Frankincense In a Minute
FC: I will fight off robbers, pirates, infidels, and admirers, undergo any hardship and use all avaliable resources to find my infant son and vanquish my evil nemesis.
P: (hitching up her skirts and running to catch up)Me, too, Mr.Crawford. Wait for me. I'll do anything, too.
FC: I've found him -- a blond, blue-eyed, harem-tattooed, infant of European parentage named Khairedden.
P: (running to catch up) Me, too, Mr Crawford. I've found him too. Wait for me. I'm off to the Seraglio to learn good grooming, philology, wriggling and personal hygiene.
(one chess game, one infant son, one evil nemesis, and a night in the Venetian Ambassador's bed in the Seraglio later...)
FC: I have compromised you hopelessly and I don't expect to live. I think we should get married.
P. Me, too, Mr. Crawford....Wait for me.
The End

Ringed Castle in a minute. OK a minute and a half.

FC: Russia-- land where the frigid and desolate wastes are an eerie mirror of my own frozen soul. Perhaps, here, I will have an opportunity to exercise my genius as a leader of men and do meaningful work. I will never ever ever return to Scotland.(smoochy sounds with Güzel)
FC: Hate to kiss and run, Güzel but I must return to Scotland. (cold,cold,cold, ice storms, snow storms, a storm at sea, Diccon dies, but Lymond's clothes are saved)
Richard: Welcome home.
FC: I wish I were dead. (They fight)
FC and P meet again.
P: Your mother was an adulteress, you are a bastard and I've let the information fall into the hands of your worst enemy. What's more I've been meddling in treason and implicating you. OTOH I know how to apply makeup, flirt outrageously and use yummy perfume. Plus I'm smart and have a great sense of humor (She faints.)
FC: (Noticing P's womanly figure for the first time.
Theme music from Gigi swells in background.) I love her, but she must never know.
The End.

This is the book-a- minute version of Checkmate:

Austin Grey: I love Philippa, but she loves FC who is, IMHO, the lowest form of pond scum and deserves to die.
FC: I love Philippa, in everyway known to man, especially one way, and it's making me go blind and have headaches. I wish I were dead.
P: Before God, you are my soul; and till death, and beyond, will remain so. OTOH I can't stand it when you touch me, so you may as well kill yourself..
(there's a war or two, some politics, some suicide attempts, and a murder attempt etc.)
BANG! BANG! (Francis falls dead)
BANG! BANG! (Austin falls dead)
P: Francis is dead, but (anguish) I feel so differently now.
FC: Hold on, I'm not dead. That's my identical half sister Marthe, my illegitimate sister by my birth father, who is my half-brother's grandfather and the legal husband of my mother whom all the world thought was married to my other half-brother, making me the legitimate heir and my brother the bastard, not the other way around. Not that I would ever mention it to him.
P: I feel like doing It now. (They do. Repeatedly)
The End.


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